you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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