road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
