Your tits are I can't wait for
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
