She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The uberlube is also flammable
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
