Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
