When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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