I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
