It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
