so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
