the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I need to calm my uterus...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
