You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
