My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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