She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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