I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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