You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
