yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
