it's too hot outside to masturbate.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Im part way to drunk.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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