i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
