Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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