We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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