i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
