I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
