Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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