I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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