that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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