Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
