I like my sex mixed with concussions.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
