so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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