I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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