these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
