I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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