wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
