I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
