So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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