Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
