I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
