I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
