he thought i was a dude.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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