The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
