just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
