Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
