I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i will never coherently bang her
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
