Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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