And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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