I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
