just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
