I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
