I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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