just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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