i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Blood and glitter go together right?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
